Knee concerns

I'm quite depressed right now. This is my last post before the race, a culmination of 6 months of the hardest training I've ever endured, and should be full of anticipation and optimism. All was well training wise, I'd completed my last big run and was tapering my way to Sunday. A casual 4 miler on Saturday through up no real concerns and some good swimming sessions kept me in good nick.

On Tuesday evening, however, I embarked on a very casual 2-3 mile jog. Slow paced and easy breathing, but very uncomfortable. It began early in the run; a burning sensation in my right knee which gave rise to some serious pain in my leg. I was able to complete the run and the pain was certainly manageable, but I'm not sure what would have happened if I continued. Either I'd get lucky and it'd subside, or I'd come to a halt due to the gradual increase in pain.

Since then, my right knee has been in some pain. Nothing too bad, but I certainly get the sense that a long run could be asking too much. Of course, I've followed protocol with a knee brace as well as hot and cold remedies (deep heat and ice) and limited my walking, as well as putting an end to any short term running. I've even cancelled my proposed trip to Leicester on Saturday for a Countdown tournament so I can rest at home. My hope is that I'll retrieve just enough juice to last the distance on Sunday. My pace may be compromised, my time will probably be well out of the 1hr 45min range and I'll no doubt be in some agony by the end, but I have to give it a shot. It's definitely worth the risk and at least now I have the awareness to expect pain and won't be caught off guard. I pray that the pain will be controllable but whilst I'm hoping for the best, I'm also preparing for the worst. So maybe I'll have to pull out midway. That would be heartbreaking, but not the end of the world. There'll be more opportunities and it'll make me even more determined. But for now, I believe I can make it and I still have a couple of days to heal up.

I feel obliged to run the race; not to prove anything to myself, since I've routinely completed 12 mile runs in good time, thus accomplishing my personal goals. But many people have generously donated to my cause and there is understandably an expectation that I'll finish what I started. This may involve walking some of the course or even crawling; whatever it takes. The final climb may well be the killer. Still, I'll give it everything I've got, with little regard of the consequences. Maybe not the most sensible approach, but after investing so much time and effort I can't back down now. I didn't come this far to lose.

Optimism is scarce, but hope remains.