Competition

As is prudent after a series of distance races, running has adopted a subdued role in my life in recent days. The plan is to rest up for around six weeks (of which two have passed) before resuming a serious regime in July. I am enjoying the rare pleasure run; each one feels like a sustained victory lap. At some point though, I must rid myself of these feelings of triumph. I feel it is important to take the time to enjoy one's victories. There are some I continue to revel in even today. But to rest on one's laurels is nothing short of criminal.

I am tired by the sight of mediocrity. I don't mean this in the sense of talent, for I am no more than a triumph of the middling myself. But to see people, many of whom are indeed blessed with amazing gifts, instead follow for the status quo and settle for average is sickening. My belief is that most people are unwilling to put themselves out there (wherever there is). The fear of failure all too easily cripples the mind into the submission of believing that average is acceptable. But whilst our capacity to achieve great things may be limited, surely it's a crime not to reach for the summit and truly explore those limits.

I sincerely feel that I've accomplished a defining goal with my running in recent times. Even though a 3:48 marathon is far from stunning (around 10,000 runners beat that in Paris alone), I place it somewhere near the top of my personal achievements. But my success in running is defined not by numbers, but a continuing desire to better myself. Next stop sub 3h 30. After that, well I guess there's only one way to find out. It would be galling of me to stop now and claim I've conquered distance running when, in fact, I know I'm capable of so much more.

I'm known to be competitive; perhaps too much so. But let's break this down. Do I have a need to be the best? If so, I'm setting myself up for perpetual disappointment. I am skilled in few pursuits and in not a single one can I identify myself as a master of the field. That is not the competition I seek. Rather, it's the internal battle to be the best I can be that drives me forward. Our time is this life is finite, why waste it on half-baked efforts? This high-octane approach is very much round-the-clock for me. You will not see me play a casual game of Pro Evo or Monopoly. Neither one is close to my heart (not anymore, at least) but if I am to invest my time into either one, or anything else for that matter, you'd better believe I'm going to give it absolutely everything. The moment you start compromising even on seemingly frivolous pastimes, the floodgates open and the descent from greatness beckons. As a disclaimer, I am adamant that this ruthless mentality must be coupled with a degree of respect and sense of grace. As Pacino said, "On any given Sunday, you're either gonna win or you're gonna lose. The point is, can you win or lose like a man?" Too competitive? Not a bit of it.

With certain endeavours, there are clearly defined goals. As an undergraduate, Countdowner or Pool player I had/have a tangible finish line. But where and when does the challenge of distance running terminate? After all, one can maintain their peak well into their 60's. If the marathon is conquered (and by no means has it been yet) I can increase the distance. Or strive to beat my PBs on any of the race distances I've covered. The challenge to improve and realise my full potential is immense and will take some years to even touch.

Since almost all of my training is done in isolation, on the surface running doesn't so competitive. But make no mistake, my thirst to compete is as prevalent as ever. But now it's me vs me. It's impossible to call a winner.